The future seems so bleak and meaningless

Sigh. I can't accept the fact that school starts again tomorrow and that I'm stuck in sem3. Could have been my last sem or sem 4. Why is studying so difficult? I'm really quite sick of studying to be honest. Sometimes I really just wanna give up and stop wasting my parents money. It's so tough. But I don't know what else can I do. I have never been good at anything. The expectations people have of me is just too high. I can't meet the targets others have set for me. Even for my own goals, I kinda can't even meet them?

I can only procrastinate. Call me the queen of procrastination or queen lazy. 

So one month has passed. For the past month I have done nothing productive. I've read only 2 books, completed a million movies, some series/ Korean drama and slept a lot. I should have worked but then again, I was lazy and thought that I could just recuperate and make up for the effort I put in for school. I definitely don't deserve it at all, feels like haven't done anything for school......... 

Sem after sem I tell myself to work harder and be more serious. Where's the discipline yo? 

I do have times whereby I just break down. Because after all I'm still a human with feelings right? Why is life so tiring........... 

"失败是成功之母" ya right. Failing makes me sick of every.single.thing!!!!!!!! 

I wonder what really lies ahead for my future.